'You cannot pour from an empty cup.’ ‘You have to save yourself first.’
These present useful analogies for the practical instruction given by flight attendants to passengers helping others with their oxygen masks. They are cliche axioms that I communicate to my patients on a regular basis. They may be maxims, yet they are true. No matter how selfless one wishes to be, they must have the willpower and energy in order to give of themself. I was asked to take a moment to self reflect about this reality; to assess what draws out my highest potential and how to promote that as a health practitioner. I am a giving supportive clinician, but sometimes allow myself to become completely depleted, overworked, undernourished and exhausted. I am very honest with my patients about my human flaws, which helps them feel comforted. It is nearly impossible to maintain a perfectly balanced lifestyle, but in this paper I can discuss some of the traits that work, what definitely does not work and how to keep a work-life balance in a mindful manner.
Without writing my entire autobiography, I have to say resilience and perseverance are two words that describe my medical practice trajectory. Both of those modalities of surviving and thriving have been backed by faith, hope and a connection to God and the bigger picture. I was amenable to taking the VIA Institute on Character’s Character Strengths Profile to help determine my top, middle and lesser strengths. My top three strengths included: spirituality, appreciation of beauty and honesty. My middle three strengths were: love of learning, leadership and creativity. My lesser three strengths I feel require a bit of notation and defense.
Zest- I would think of myself as quite zesty, but sometimes adrenal fatigue and exhaustion does prohibit me from approaching life with excitement and energy.
Perseverance- Knowing myself, I would alternatively rank this as my top strength! I believe my undiagnosed ADHD tendencies were inadvertently interpreted as the inability to finish a task. If I put my mind to something I make it happen! I do not give up easily. I do begin multiple tasks simultaneously and sometimes procrastinate until the deadline to inspire me to make it to the finish line.
Self Regulation- Now this, embarrassingly enough, is what I struggle with on a daily basis. Regulation of my feelings, controlling my appetite and emotions are my biggest challenges. This is what I will focus my plan of action on for taking better care of myself, my children, patients and ability to balance a work life balance.
My current toughest personal situation is having a teenager that does not want my help anymore.
I was very much like her as a teen, and I refuse to give up on the vision that one day we will become dear friends. For now, it can be quite a life contradiction to provide such relief to so many, when I am no longer allowed to use my tools of acupuncture, herbal medicine, and cupping with the big kid. Luckily, she will still eat home cooked meals amongst the junk food she now has access to in high school.
Raising an ornery teenager is the biggest hurdle that affects my mental and emotional health, and could easily manifest itself in my practice, if I do not properly manage and process through intense emotions. What I have done to help restore my relationship with my daughter has recently been brought to my attention in the article, The Therapeutic Role of the Practitioner's Heart in Classical Chinese Medicine and Modern Medical Science. This article highlights the scientific fact that the electromagnetic frequencies of the heart emit at least 3 feet outside of the body and affect others’ hearts within that field. Your heart rate can affect another's heart rate in either a gracious or chaotic way. (Espinosa 2014) I apply this cardiac exchange to direct my prayers and positive unrequited thoughts and hugs, verbally or physically towards her with the power of my heart! Whenever I am within three feet of my daughter I send her interpersonal heart synchronization hugs! Knowing that this is a real phenomena, I have continued doing it for years! I allow my heart to tell her how much I love her and how proud I am to be her mother. This emotional release in turn, frees up my mind to optimally nurture my patients utilizing the same method.
As a single mother, business owner, and full time practitioner, I definitely thank my Laurel Denise planner and my innate enjoyment to plan everyday. I write gratitude and prayers daily, utilizing planner sections to review goals and dreams. I set huge goals for 5 and 10 years and then work backwards from there. In my paper planner I have separate columns for my clinic, personal and home/ kids schedules. Like David Wolfe said in his article The Power of Writing Things Down to Achieve Goals, “ Give your dreams an action plan.” (Wolf,2016) I am a dreamer and believer. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the rush of ideas. It helps me to move them out of my head and onto paper. I enjoy creating playful methods to plan. I color code and use lots of stickers. I keep my calendar books like scrapbooks with photos and memories that my two children and I can look back on in the future. Every Sunday I implement a technique called brain dumping. I just pour out everything in my mind onto paper and then I categorize and schedule from there. My friends, family and patients often question how I balance and juggle so many things. I often share with them my method to organize the madness.
One thing I want to change is to utilize my planner's habit tracker. Habits that will improve my mental and physical health with goals such as: walk 5-10,000 steps a day, drink a minimum of 70 ounces of water, wake up early and stretch, be upstairs in my room for night time routine by 8:30, etc.
In order to reach my highest potential and be the best mother and practitioner I can be, I must emanate health, wellbeing and groundedness. I wish to lead by example. I want to start waking up an hour earlier and going to bed an hour earlier! I need alone time in the mornings to stretch, walk my dog, make a nutritious breakfast, pray and write daily gratitudes. I appreciate unrushed bedtime routines. I know going to bed earlier can create more pressure for myself, but even if I am in my bedroom by 8 PM, off of screens and winding down, this is a great time to write my goals and schedule for the following day and do my self care routine.
Everyday I am striving to allow more time to be present with my children.
They grow so fast, I want to spend quality time with them. All of the hard work I do is to provide for my girls and make this world a better place. I do truly believe helping people naturally heal has a significant positive ripple effect on society. Taking care of myself and my children, delegating tasks and focusing on priorities is what helps me regulate and maintain a work life balance. When I am well fed, grounded, well-exercised and deeply rested I can provide the best care for my patients and exude my highest potential.
